Fat Lace Magazine » Caption Competition

Tootsie Roll Wit Da Flava

Dan Large — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 16:19:23 +0000

We love it when former Flavor Unit stars make the cover of American celebrity weeklies. Just last week in Us Weekly Lord Alibaski announced he had donated sperm for a Brangelina baby, unbeknownst to him, Lakim Shabazz’s DJ Cee Just also knocked one out for the desperate couple. A nasty paternity case ensued, allegedly. Anyway, cue the Flavor Unit puns…

“Does my bum look big in this?”

A bad hair day for The Queen

Fallen Soldiers #1: Overseen by Scott LaRock

Dan Large — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 14:10:07 +0000

In the first of our new Fallen Soldiers feature we salute the legend that is DJ Scott LaRock (3/2/1962 – 8/27/87). Here’s some audio from an old Dave Pearce Radio London show reporting the news of Scott’s untimely passing:
[See post to listen to audio]

Scott (pictured) calling a girl before the advent of internet dating. We imagine this would have been his Facebook photo would he still have been with us today. So time for a caption competition. What’s Scott saying on the telephone? Answers by way of comments please, the best one wins a Fat Lace T Shirt.

Here’s Boogie Down Productions ‘Super Hoe’, an ode to Scott’s love affair with prophylactics. We think KRS, a serial monogamist, lived his own fantasies through the promiscuous DJ.
[See post to listen to audio]

…and here’s KRS telling you all to Stop The Violence. This includes harming pets, killings wasps, threatening a child with the naughty step and giving someone a chinese burn.
[See post to listen to audio]

Peace to Bobby Corridor for the Dave Pearce link

Caption Competition #1: Best In Show

Dan Large — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 10:58:30 +0000

Here at Fat Lace HQ we take our freedom of speech and journalistic license very seriously indeed. But something of paramount importance to us is the need to post pictures of rappers posing with dogs. On hearing DMX had his home raided by Hip-Hop Police based on a tip off by the Baha Men, we felt the need to lighten up your Monday with a caption competition. All captions will benefit from the glory of having your name posted on the Fat Lace blog. What, that isn’t enough for you?

Perhaps somebody should point out to Earl that the best way to exhibit your Pitbull would be to take a leaf from Damien Hirst’s book and suspend it in a tank of formaldehyde. Simply holding it in the air for hours is tiring and quite unnecessary.

p.s For the record we asked DMX if he was any relation to the rapper Just-Ice and he said no.

p.p.s. Tim Dog was available for comment and gave us these words: ‘I would like to apologise to all the residents of Compton for any offense caused in the past. I have a new record out this year.’

p.p.p.s. Ice Dog of Tuff Crew was available for comment and had this to say: ‘We don’t advocate the harming of dogs in My Part Of Town’

p.p.p.p.s. The K-9 Posse were unavailable for comment

Simmons, at the Ruff Ryder Convention yesterday:

Shakur, at his California home earlier today: