Anyone who owns a Fat Lace Magazine ‘Free Steady B’ or ‘Who Shot Scott La Rock?’ joint from back in the day will no doubt be looking to replace those thread bare garms as their moobs straight busted out of those shits, let’s face it, you were probably in your 20’s when you bought one of the O.G. shirts. These Fat Lace 2.0 babies are limited to a run of 50. That’s right, fiddy, so get one quick fast. They’re made of 100% material, that’s better than silk. Any Hypebeast readers will realise we’re quite literally taking the P.E.E. with the design. Quite out of character for us, we know.  No proceeds will be going to charity but if we sell enough we’ll make another next month. If we ever make a profit, rest assured the Fat Lace crew will be rocking Dapper Dan suits and Bally sneakers before you know it.

Cop HERE

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Sorry if we’re a little late in relaying our condolences to DJ AM’s friends and family but we were waiting for a more personal photo rather than googling some library shot. Fat Lace homie stromie DJ Mighty Mi of The High & Mighty just sent us this. AM’s contribution to Hip-Hop culture and the art of DJing is unparalleled. The reason we posted this photo was to let you know just that and how deep in the game AM was. Here’s an extract from an interview from 2005 which breaks down his origins as an original member and beat boxer for the group that later became The High & Mighty, Mighty Mi himself being directly responsible for AM becoming a DJ.

R.I.P. to a true talent, we only wish he could have made it to the UK more.

Full Story: HERE

Extract:

The Hundreds: When did u start DJing? DJ AM: Around ’85?…I started first messing around. I grew up in Philly, and Mighty Mi (from the High and Mighty – he’s another shoe collector) – we grew up together and he had turntables at his house and it was the same group as High and Mighty with Mi, Eon as MC Magnum, and I was AMG the Human Lindrum. I was the beatboxer.

I remember absolutely nothing about the interview, so it’s quite conceivable that his absence from rap’s main table over the past half-decade is because he set out to find the hidden level on Rainbow Island. What I’m 95% sure he didn’t mention in the article, however, was that there’s at least ten Commodore 64 games that share their name with middling rappers. So we’re gonna do that ourselves here. And before you ask, yes, Paperboy would have been far too obvious to include. Plus I could never do those end-of-level assault course thingies. What the fuck kind of neighbourhood has an assault course at the top of every street anyway?

Freeway (Published by Systems Editoriale, 1989)

What a Freeway C64 game should have entailed:  Some manner of Tamagotchi-style beard-growing simulator, possibly with a bonus round mini-game where, after growing your facial hair to a sufficient bushiness, you run around a maze trying to avoid a gang of sentient Gilette Mach 3s. Or whatever they used to trim taches in 1989. What the Freeway C64 game actually is: On the real: fuck Frogger forever. And fuck even shittier versions of Frogger where the frog looks like a bowtie drawn with green Staybrite bricks.

Mr C (Published by JAM, 1991)

What a Mr C C64 game should have entailed: A homage to Burger Time where you literally are eating off BIG’s first LP. What the Mr C C64 game actually is: Perhaps the most knocked-together pinball simulator in history, where you repeatedly bounce your monochrome ball off a monochrome BMW logo, and that’s it. Just as a comparison for these graphics, Mr C was released in the same year as Super Mario World. And people wondered why the Commodore was unable to hold off the rise of the consoles?

Saigon (Unknown publishers, 1988)

What a Saigon C64 game should have entailed: Monkey Island-style point-and-click extravaganza. Exchange cattish insults with your enemies (Joe Budden: My wisest enemies run away at the sight of me. Saigon: Even before they smell your breath?)! Arm yourself with a cutlass in prepreation for a slapstick duel with Mobb Deep Wander aimlessly around a run-down backwards environ (Brooklyn) for years on end before realising you’re supposed to be releasing a fucking album at some point! What the Saigon C64 game actually is: Cheap’n’cheerful shoot-em-up game which, despite being called Saigon, appears to be set in the North African days of the French Foreign Legion, as your Clouseau-esque character stumbles about popping caps at Arabian guards who don’t bother to turn around if you start firing endless bullets at them.

The Game (Published by The Skull, 1995)

What a The Game C64 game should have entailed: Stealth game where you have to get as close to Dr Dre without him noticing you’re there. Bonus points for going through his garbage in order to find comb he’s thrown away so you can attach hair to your Andre Young realdoll.
What the The Game C64 game actually is: I have no idea whatsoever. There’s an X, and an O, and occasionally the O shoots an arrow out, and then it says “game over”. In fairness, it may have been a fault to review so many of these games without access to a manual for any of them.

Oh No (Published by Silver, 1988)

What an Oh No C64 game should have entailed: Platform romp where you stun enemies into catatonic slumber by playing them beats constructed entirely from samples of blind Eritrean street beggars, leading to an end boss battle where you ask Madlib if he can lend you £30 until payday. What the Oh No C64 game actually is: Frantic (or at least what passed for frantic in 1988) shoot-em-up where you take charge of a pear drop that shoots rusted screws at a load of enemies that look like Simon Says electronic toys.

The Terrorists (Published by Virgin Games, 1984)

What a The Terrorists C64 game should have entailed: Business strategy game where you aim to make the greatest profit possible by selling mediocre Rap-A-Lot CDs to Scandinavian southern rap stans on eBay. What the The Terrorists C64 game actually is: You move the silhouette of a white van around a brown background which I think is meant to be the desert, but has no marks on it. To your right is a helicopter, to your left is a kitten heeled shoe… these are both the same size. Being a terrorist is kinda dull, on balance.

Napoleon (Published by J&F Publishing, 1999)

What a Napoleon C64 game should have entailed: The C64 classic Frankie Goes To Hollywood saw you control a robot that slowly turned into a rock star: each successful activity undertaken would morph you slowly from the former to the latter. So Napoleon’s game would be exactly the same, except replace “robot” with “weed carrier for one-testicled rapist” and “rock star” with “humourless and quite frankly scary Islamic fundamentalist”. What the Napoleon C64 game actually is: A fucking solitaire game made in 1999, around six years after everyone had sold their C64s at car boots. I suppose at this point in history a C64 was cheaper than a pack of cards though, so maybe this game made economic sense at the time.

Havoc (Published by Players Premier, 1990)

What a Havoc C64 game should have entailed: So I was gonna make a gag here it being some sort of collect-n-drop game, where you literally “bring stuff to the table” and then other characters question it, but then I remembered it was Prodigy that wrote that. Then I was gonna quip about some sort of Innerspace bullet hell game where you blast sickle cell into oblivion, but that was Prodigy as well. Are we to take it that Mobb Deep are the Krays of rap, where one of them is gay and insane and fucked Barbra Windsor and was a champion boxer, and the other one has no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever in isolation? What the Havoc C64 game actually is: Fun enough budget game worthy pastiche of mid-80s arcade classic Slap Fight. You think I’m gonna snark on every entry here, you’ve got another thing coming.

B.O.B. (Published by Ludger Dinklebach, 1984)

What a B.O.B. C64 game should have entailed: Ludger Dinklebach. What the B.O.B. C64 game actually is: Ludger Dinklebach

Do Or Die (Published by CP Verlag, 1994)

What a Do Or Die C64 game should have entailed: Two-part multiload game. The first half is a shoot-em-up section where you only have to kill one opponent. The second half is a slower, more reflective text adventure where you spend ten years in prison pondering the fact that you’re the only currently incarcerated rapper that people aren’t crying out for the release of. What the Do Or Die C64 game actually is: Something to do with… energy? It’s in German so I’m not sure. I think I just landed a spaceship, though, so that’s good.

DWG are back with a dope new poster. It’s much less elitist than the last one, many of these records are slightly easier to find, certainly less inflated on the price front and to be honest in most cases better. We’re fans of the random rap but prices are getting ridiculous, cats are forgetting the staples. On the whole DWG have come up with another quality offering with scans of some amazing promo only releases and accompanying commentary for each one. Hopefully the eBay prices on some of these gems will get a much deserved boost.  A must own item.

Hit ‘em up HERE and cop one now.

Competition time again but we’re not talking Milk & Giz, we have a Native Instruments Audio 2 unit to give away for you pro digital DJ’s.  Just tell us the name of Native Instruments DJ software (we’ll give you a clue: you may find one on a farm) and email answers with your address to fatlacemagazine@gmail.com and tell us why we should pick you.

In the meantime, here’s some more Audio 2 action.

And some Audio Two action after the jump…..

Our mans dem are blasting off at The Brickhouse on August 21st. If you’re in the area expect some vintage ‘88 shit. Rock some old school garms and the boys might buy you a beer. No deck shoes or man bags allowed.

(above, Eminem’s first ever magazine cover story)

We were alerted to this Complex Magazine article by Fat Boss legend, now DJ supremo Jaguar Skills. Not only is it a brilliant précis of rap journalism’s better days before every Tom, Dick and Hattie started some crappy blog, but they awarded Fat Lace a posthumous 4.5/5.0  RIP Angels. We always knew we were doing something right. Only Vibe equaled our score whereas the Ego Tits and Rap Pages achieved the coveted full marks of 5 point 0h. The Ego’s definitely deserved the top spot but if The Source or XXL ever folded they would get 5.0 a piece and Rap Pages might have to be downgraded t0 4.5. Read it from start to finish HERE and we’re interested to hear your comments.  As for Fat Lace being a dead magazine, nothing’s changed, it’s just another sequel.

Honourable mentions to all the UK magazines that also made the cut like Downlow, Fat Boss, Grand Slam and HHC. Personally we miss Soul Underground, not a rap magazine per se but had some awesome hip-hop coverage. Also The original Blues & Soul, especially for Westwood’s Zulu Column.

Also shouts to the O.G. crew: Mike Hard (the O.G. of O.G.’s) Rob Patel, Yoda, Johnny Depth, Rat Banjos and last but not least Barrie Bee without whom, Fat Lace would have looked totally shit. Needless to say Huge and Large are still up in this bitch.

One of the biggest mysteries in hip-hop over the last 10 years is, ‘how the fuck is KRS still getting paid?’ (apart from the obvious – letting out space in his nostrils to paying tenants) Let’s put our cards on the table, dude is one the best to ever do it. A legend, an innovator, a man responsible for dozens if not scores of our favourite hip-hop songs ever but, fuck us, his last few albums have stunk the place up. We also have a supplementary question: If Knowledge Reigns Supreme Over Nearly Everyone, who are the few people knowledge doesn’t reign supreme over? Are they members of the general public, or is it just Robocop and Harmony  and ‘em?

Anyhoo, Kris must be skint from literally having to pay people to listen to ‘Maximum Strength’ and ‘Hip-Hop Lives’. Not to mention ‘Life’. You sure that’s the same guy who did ‘Slippin’? So, it turns out Mr. Parker has got a side business, providing competitively priced plumbing service to the people of England (which goes some way to explaining how come Dan Large once bumped into KRS in a toy shop in Bradford – FACT!). Need to stopcock the violence? He’s your man. Is your water pressure at a ‘Higher Level’ than it should be? Just call the number. Need Economy 7 heating installing? Actually, McBoo and D-Square usually handle that kind of thing. Yep, KRS has picked up the pipe – say no, brother – and is on a crack attack when you’ve got lagging issues. He charges by the hour, plus parts, but the P is still free.

With thanks to our mans Lebs, who says KRS did ‘a bang up job on a replacement boiler for me. He’s got Corgi approval, the lot’.